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    2010 - 11.28

    Thanksgiving 2010 may go down in history as the Thanksgiving when Brad and Ricky overdid it, even by Brad & Ricky’s over-the-top standards.

    We started the day by loading up 6 bottles of wine into Ricky’s sexy SUV: 3 white and 3 red. Since we’d be enjoying dinner at my sister’s house, this was an opportunity to let the kids try some different types of wine to develop a perspective on what they actually prefer. (For example, I just don’t like many reds, especially merlot, although I know I’m supposed to. I like a pinot grigio as well as a riesling, although it can sometimes be too sweet, even by my standards. Hate hate hate chardonnay.  Just don’t know a thing about brands or countries of origin. Don’t really care. I’m a bad vino homo.)

    And we went to my sisters home, where we had an eight course dinner of Ricky caliber, with my mom, my sister and her ‘boyfriend’ of several years, my son Peter, and Ricky and I. Everyone else had various obligations: niece and nephew at their other parent’s home, mother’s gentleman caller at his daughter’s in Minneapolis, Jan tied up with her work and college in Minneapolis. So, we scrapped the wine tasting agenda and settled into a wine drinking agenda.

    Then we returned to Fargo where we hosted Ricky’s kids Greg and Marsha, as well as Greg’s wife and our grandbabbies Bobby and Cindy; for a late afternoon snack.

    Then it was off to an evening get-together with some other couples. In gay-world, this was an ‘after-party’ where friends get together to have a cocktail and gossip about the party(s) we’d just attended, even though Ricky and I were the only same gender couple in attendance, and the parties gossiped about were various Thanksgiving dinners.

    And as I mentally recapped the day, I though about all the fuss surrounding “Family Values” and how the gays are supposedly destroying American families.

    I thought about the day we’d just experienced. In not one instance was a single one of the three family gatherings we enjoyed reflective of a Norman Rockwell painting. Yet each gathering included ‘family’ that we love dearly and who loves us dearly.

    Then I though of the arrogance of the “Family Values” contingent. The folks that insist that unless all families look exactly like what they say a family should look like; they’re really not a family.

    Enough said.

    Today’s Gay Agenda: At the top of the list  of “Things I’m Thankful For”. My family. All of them.

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    13 Responses to “Family Values”

    1. Avatar of godless godless says:

      Looks like you had a ton of fun! I’m glad! Makes me wonder what Guy and Jason (My brother in law and hubby) did for Thanksgiving. Probably just hung out at home in Denver. You guys are a lot alike and I like that. :)

    2. Family….
      People who can just give two loud Raps on the door and then enter freely….
      People who know they can go in your fridge without permission ;)
      People who will bring you one (or two) orders of Won Ton soup if they know you have a cold and know you would do the same for them….without asking…..
      People you may not have seen for six months but when you do see them, it’s like Yesterday
      and you pick up right where you left off….
      People who will always ‘have your back’….just as you will have theirs…..(well, provided you haven’t murdered anyone….)
      People who love you for you….not for any benefits you might bring them and vice versa….
      And family includes our animals who we love as family members…..

    3. Avatar of Jon Lindgren Jon Lindgren says:

      Great post. Wonderful to hear about families and friends that get along with each other.

    4. Avatar of Rieka says:

      Trying to define “family” is like trying to define “normal”.

      It’s what it means to you that counts.

      • Exactly Rieka…..I listed a few of my thoughts. I have friends who I would never even Consider Thinking about going into their fridges uninvited and vice versa LOL…..And other friends who Know I keep some Diet (YUK!) Coke or other Misc Treats in the fridge, Special for Them, in case they stop in …..especially after work when they are ‘drained’ from their day ;) ;)
        Also, thank you for you comments on your blog….(hugs back atcha)

        • Avatar of Rieka says:

          Oh that fridge thing. HEHEHE You do know you are FAMILY when you don’t wait for someone to offer you refeshments, you just help yourself. Why is the fridge “off limits” anyway? It’s like a woman’s purse. Only the brave dare dig without consent. What’s so private about left overs and some condiments?

          I never understood until I visited a home where you didn’t even dream of helping yourself to anything in their home. OMG! My aunt would have ripped off your arm and beat you with the bloody stump. The entire home was a museum where children were not to enter unless contained under their parents thumb or on a short leash. Even my mother didn’t dare open the fridge for a pop…at her own brother’s home. It could have been filled to capacity with every beverage imaginable…if my aunt didn’t offer it to you, you go thirsty.

          Obviously, this was a forced visit in the name of “family”, but it felt like deathrow to us kids, something we dreaded worse than the dentist or Dr. To this day, I stay away. They maybe “family” in the generic genetic way, but definately not “family” in the way that really counts, in the heart. We don’t even pretend to be “family” anymore. What is the point in acting the part? Life is too short.

          • misty johnson says:

            OMG…..Visual…..nothing says Family like a Fridge with no Padlock on it….ROFL now! I Loved your Aunt story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
            And how bizarre, being a True Foodie, that …that Fridge thing would be High on My List…..YUP…hehehe, you Got It!

    5. Don’t let other people define what family is to you. You get to decide. It’s their problem. Not yours.

    6. Avatar of Katydid Katydid says:

      When I was a kid, no one in my family ever went in anyone else’s fridge, even a family members.
      I guess I always just thought it was a point of respect or something….to wait till you were offered something, rather than just taking it.

      It’s weird, that’s one of the things I’ve just never questioned…till now. ;)

    7. Awww Katydid, you are welcome to open my fridge and help yourself anytime….same for you Rieka…..
      And if there’s only one fudgy brownie left….we split it three ways LOL while we bake a new batch (package mix of course…I don’t Do Baking measuring flour, salt, suger…)

      • Avatar of Rieka says:

        Same to you Misty! Just push past the three gallons of milk, there is almost always a homemade cheesecake hidden there. ;) I think today’s ‘cake is french vanilla cappuchino. Don’t forget, the fresh whipped cream is in the cottage cheese container.

    8. Oops, Everyone is welcome….forgot others were on here too!

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