• Who we are
  • Archives
  • Categories
  • PDA not OK

    2011 - 04.03

    Ricky and I have been together for over eight years, and have come to take our relationship very much for granted.

    Not in the way that we don’t love and respect each other, but in the way that we are so used to being together—so connected—that we can forget the fact that two men who are this emotionally in tune to each other can be disconcerting to those around us.

    This became acutely apparent to us as we were attending the funeral of a dear friend.  My mind tends to wander, recalling fond memories of time we spent together.  Soon a tear was making its way down the side of my face.

    Ricky noticed, and quietly took my hand in his, gave it a squeeze, and continued to hold it as the service continued.  This comforting gesture from the person I love most in the world gave me the sense of calm and security that only a loved one can provide.

    The time arrived where the congregation stands.  For only a second, Ricky and I continued to hold hands.

    Then the reality of our surroundings occurred to us: we were in a church. A church whose denomination has been very publicly struggling with a sexuality statement.  A church where we were both clearly aware our purpose today was not to make any kind of statement regarding same gender couples, but to bid farewell to a dear friend.

    There were dozens of friends in attendance who’ve known us as Ricky and Brad for years.  There were also dozens in attendance whose focus could suddenly shift from the service, to the two old guys holding hands in church.

    This flashed through each of our minds in an instant, and we instinctively dropped hands without giving it a second thought, and continued on with the service.

    Overly enthusiastic Public Displays of Affection (PDAs) are something I’ve never really liked.  There’s a time and a place for everything.  Yet in spite of how far same gender couples have come in regard to public acceptance, there’s still such a long ways to go. Even when it comes to quietly holding the hand of your spouse.

    Today’s Gay Agenda: Never miss an opportunity to hold Ricky’s hand or pat his back (side) in a slightly inappropriate venue. Watch people’s reaction at suddenly realizing they’re witnessing the downfall of America.

    Tags: , , , ,

    6 Responses to “PDA not OK”

    1. Avatar of Andrew Andrew says:

      There’s PDA and then there’s “sex in public”… One is great and the other is inappropriate for any couple.

      Never let anyone stand in the way of holding your partner’s hand. I’d personally drop any piece of garbage I saw giving you trouble for doing so.

    2. Avatar of gregory gregory says:

      i dont beleave in gays or lebos they should well what ever ya get the message pda between gays is gross dont do it god didnt want it

    3. Avatar of Mac Mac says:

      Gregory, thanks for the feedback. I’m not quite sure I’m confident enough to know what God does and does not want—-although I’m reasonably sure he has better things to worry about than Brad and Ricky’s sex life. In fact, it always surprises me how much interest other people DO have in our sex life. Kinda creepy in a way.

    4. bob says:

      What’s the big deal? It’s not all that unusual for two straight guys to offer a hand or a hug and pat on the back at a funeral service. It’s an emotional time for everyone involved.

    5. Avatar of Barb says:

      While I find it touching you cared about teh sensibilities of others at a stressful time, I’m sad there was any feeling of having to drop each other’s hand. A life-affirming moment of support between two halves of a couple is something that would have made me feel better to see.

      Gregory, any God worth believing in IS love. He or She will forgive you too.

    6. pam says:

      Hold on to each other…such love and connection doesn’t happen often. So glad you have found it. Thank God you were there for each other. Losing friends is so disturbing and makes us realize the most important things in our lives aren’t things at all but our relationships with those people we really care about..

    Your Reply