The last couple of weeks we’ve been talking about men’s fashion and grooming, and how it’s just as difficult and important for men to keep up on this stuff as it is for women.
Starting at the top. The waistband. Since all the mass of our butts long ago migrated to our guts, a snug waistband or belt is critical. Say no to crack. Anyone that wants to see your backside will eventually ask you for the honor.
16 year old boys look stupid with underwear above their waistband. 40 year old men get made fun of. Here’s a couple pointers: buying low-rise briefs does not make you gay. Buying low-rise briefs or boxers can help keep your tighty-whiteys where they belong. Bikini briefs will make you gay. And cranky. A thong is always wrong.
Rise is critical. (rise is the distance from the crotch to the waistband) You know when you see an old man with his belt right under his armpits? The rise is too long.
If the rise is too short, you’ll get an embarassing case of camel toe and get cranky. (see comment above) Anyone that wants to see the boys will eventually ask for the honor.
Pant length. Probably the biggest crime in men’s fashion. Your hemline should touch the point on your shoe where the leather (or whatever) connects with the sole. NEVER EVER shorter.
Today’s Gay Agenda: All this fashion talk calls for a trip to the mall.