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  • Stupid Tax

    2012 - 11.01

    There’s a saying that I think is hilarious: Life’s tough. It’s really tough when you’re stupid.  The other is: you just can’t fix stupid.

    I suppose technically it’s not stupid, it’s inattention to detail. Whatever you call it, I was 30 minutes away from getting in my car and driving to Minneapolis to hop a plane and just learned I had no ticket.

    What to do?

    First things first: do I tell Ricky? I have this policy . . . after living a lie for so many years, I just don’t lie anymore. About anything. Except the typical ‘does this make my butt look big?’ type questions. I also consider ‘not telling’ pertinent information that may affect someone as lying.

    So, I blurted out one of my signature expletives and told Ricky I had no air travel.

    Ricky is really brilliant and can manage a zillion things without keeping a calendar. I can barely manage finding a calendar, let alone keeping one up.

    Smart man that he is, he knew this was no time to roll his eyes and mock me for being an idiot. He simply flipped the scrambled eggs around the pan and said: “Hmmmm? What are going to do?”

    Well, I’d cleared my appointments in consultant world to make appointments in Boca world, so I knew it was time to pay ‘Stupid Tax’.

    That’s a fee that I pay for not doing my homework, paying attention, or simply being stupid.

    For example, I’m paying $7 per day stupid tax for leaving my car at the airport rather than the Park and Fly service. Didn’t get around to researching and locating one.

    I probably paid $250 stupid tax because I didn’t bother to check what flights out of Fargo cost, because I had Minneapolis to Boca in my mind, and I may have not had to drive and park my car.

    And I ended up paying $225 stupid tax because my $295 flight now cost $525 to get me to Boca at about the same time I’d intended.

    And next week I’ll have to pay another $100 in stupid tax when I change the ticket that’s currently scheduled for the last Tuesday through the last Friday in November.

    That won’t work. I think the next week may work however.

    Today’s Gay Agenda: Time to find a happy hour night spot and get ready for tomorrow’s meeting with the property management firm, and flight back to Minneapolis.



    2 Responses to “Stupid Tax”

    1. opinionated says:

      Actually squirrel, a doctor can fix stupid, but since you’re gay there’s no need!!! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

    2. Mac says:

      Opie, I was sitting at a boy bar in Boca enjoying a lovely Cosmo martini when your comment came through on my smart phone. I laughed out loud. :)

      Regrettably, old men like me tire early and have to get back to the hotel before the debauchery begins. Sighhhhhhhh.