Stereophonic II

Recently I spoke of stereotypes, and how they can be difficult for minority groups to overcome, especially when the media reinforces them in a big way.

I used the example of all gay men wanting to wear sequined gowns and molest boys.  Which, when I come to think of it, shouldn’t be a stereotype at all because study after study has indicated pedophilia is as prevalent or even more so in straight men than it is in gay men.

I’ve got my share of velvet and jewelry, but I am quite content to share life with 56 year old Ricky, thank you very much.

Another is that gay people are athiest, or the ones that do believe in a higher power are mocking that higher power by living a life of sin and debauchery.

In this instance, I think I’d have to defer to the pedophilia example: I think gay men and women have about the same level of spirituality as the general population, it’s just that it’s been difficult to be a part of a group of believers and still be true to oneself.

Well, I’m going to challenge another stereotype.

After a year of visiting a church in Boca Raton, I finally joined.

Growing up Lutheran in northern MN, church was an important part of life for a number of reasons. It certainly was a central part of my life.

When the people of the church I attended learned that I was gay, I was very quietly asked to resign my role at the keyboards for Sunday worship.

And I very quietly did.

I never went back. To that church or pretty much any other.

That was nearly 15 years ago.

And in the time between then and now, not one single person from that church has ever inquired as to my spiritual well-being.

Of course, the next question is going to be “Well, which church did you join?”

Are they a true “Christian” church, or one of those cafeteria Christian churches that ignores certain Bible verses they don’t agree with?

(insert exaggerated eye-roll and heavy sigh here)

So yes, to combat another stereotype, I have joined a group of fellow believers to experience the growth that comes from learning and spending time with those of like mind.  Ricky attends with me, but as yet it still considering which path he wants to go down.

Why am I sharing all this? Isn’t TGA all about how oppressed gay people and minorities are? Isn’t the only thing Brad writes about is how awful religious organizations are toward gay people?


And I also write this to show the general population that same gender couples in committed relationships are pretty much like everyone else.

Except we have cleaner cars and greener lawns. 🙂

Today’s Gay Agenda: Set the boundary that for some reason I am willing to discuss sharing my life with Ricky with total strangers; but I’m not going to partake in discussion on the topic of my spirituality.

Besides, I have a series that is going to fill the pages of TGA on how natural (pink and red) vs artificial (blue and black ) nail polish affects society.






4 thoughts on “Stereophonic II”

  1. after growing up Catholic and attending Church almost every Sunday I couldn’t take the bigotry and hatred anymore (nor ignore the stink of constant molestations and the hiding of them too), I joined a UCC Church. It has been the most wonderful experience. My Church is open to anyone. It is a loving, caring community of all types of people who care about others and teach what being Christian is all about. Additionally, my Church has very many gay congregants. Anyone who thinks/assumes that Gay people are godless are completely off the mark. No one is more mean than one who is mean for Jesus… and THAT is what keeps many away from an organized Religion. BUT, not all religions are the same.

    1. Denis, how very well said. I am so glad you’ve found a community that helps nourish your spirit. I suspect you do a fair amount to sustain those around you as well.

  2. Not that there’s anything wrong with being godless, of course. It’s worth pointing out that not all of us that do identify as an atheist (and gay, incidentally) are not necessarily doing so because of a personal bad experience, negative reputation of a church/denomination, or desire to be an evil heathen. Instead, for many, it’s just a result of our evalutation of the facts and evidence surrounding most god claims.

    Great post, by the way! I’ll keep following.

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