Hearts & Roses

The month of February and especially this next week seems to be all about couples in love, or wishing they were in love or had someone to love.

On Tuesday there will be a debate on Gay Marriage featuring Ryan T Anderson, speaking on behalf of the ND Family Alliance and former Fargo mayor and blog friend Jon Lindgren.

It’s been a while since I checked in on my friends at the various anti-marriage equality sites, but typically these organizations seem to think the best way to strengthen marriage is to deny equal protection of existing state and federal laws to same gender couples.

I’ve yet to hear even a remotely convincing argument as to how this would strengthen opposite gender marriage, but I have never been accused of being the brightest bulb on the tree. Maybe Mr Anderson will bring a new perspective as he outlines the damage Ricky and I have caused his family in our nearly 7 years of marriage.

In my opinion, working to prevent marriage equality is kind of like stepping up enforcement of jay walking as a way to reduce highway fatalities. I suppose there are a number of pedestrians who are struck and killed by motorists who were not expecting to encounter them in a certain place. Perhaps enforcing a $10,000 fine on jay walking would pretty much end the problem.

But wouldn’t it possibly be more effective to invest resources in making cars more safe in crashes or reducing the number impaired drivers?

Curbing jay walking would probably reduce traffic fatalities, but there are probably other tactics that may have a bigger impact.

I suppose making marriage a topic of conversation does cause people to reflect and share ideas on what’s important in their relationships. Certainly discussing the importance of lifelong commitment has benefits to the kids who hear those conversations.

However, it’s my understanding that the biggest challenges to opposite gender marriage is differing financial goals and priorities, poverty, unemployment, differing religious points of view and so forth.

I have never ever ever read anything about someone getting divorced because the guys down the street got married last week.

Today’s Gay Agenda: I don’t have the answer as to how to strengthen traditional marriage. However, it has been my experience that fixing some problem in my life generally starts with reflecting on what I could be doing differently rather than on what someone else should be doing differently.