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    2014 - 02.15

    Every year about this time we go somewhere warm for a few days. I was having some fond memories of time in Puerto Vallarta and Guadalajara Mexico and remembered this post from long ago.


    Ricky speaks five languages. I just speak alot. Here’s some snippets of conversations this past week.

    Riding in a cab, Ricky chit-chats with the driver in Spanish:

    • Driver: “You speak Spanish very well.”
    • Ricky: “Thank you, I’m more comfortable in Itailian, though”
    • Driver: “Does your friend speak Spanish, too?”
    • Ricky: “No, he’s American. The poor thing only speaks English.”
    • Brad, from the back seat, in English: “I CAN UNDERSTAND YOU, YOU KNOW!!”

    As a major piece of beefcake strolls by on the beach:

    • “Holy crap, the only time my body will ever be that hard is after rigor mortis sets in.

    While enjoying happy hour with a lively floor show, if you know what I mean:

    • Brad: “My gosh, those dancers are so nice.
    • Ricky: “Of COURSE they’re nice—they’re counting on you to be nice back to them . . . Idiot . . . Where’s your wallet?”

    After going through a pat-down and a metal detector, we’re allowed into the toniest gay-bar in Guadalajara.

    • Brad to the server: “I’ll have a cosmo Martini, please.”
    • Server: “We’re not that kind of bar.”

    While misbehaving at the local nightclubs:

    • “I’ve got to be nicer to my sister. I just know I’m going to need some of her liver one day.”

    Admiring a sexy car on the street:

    • Brad: “What kind of car is P-u-o-g-e-t?”
    • Ricky: “It’s French.”
    • Brad: “French?!? The French can’t make a car, they make dinner. The Germans make a great car.”

    While observing the late afternoon mist, softening the view of the mountains:

    • “Is that fog?”
    • “No, it evaporating hair product from all the homos on the beach.”

    Observing a young man with a skinned beef carcass over his shoulders walking into a butcher stand:

    • “Didn’t Lady Gaga wear that to some awards show?”

    Strolling down the beach with my insulated coffee mug:

    • “You don’t expect anyone to believe you’ve got coffee in that thing, do you?”

    Today’s Gay Agenda: Try to cover up the disappointment that our vacation is moving waaaay too fast.

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