The Golden Rule

There’s kind a ‘rule’ at our house: none of my kids or grandkids goes out our front door without a hug from me and the words “I love you.”

Sometimes followed with “you’re such a good boy” or “I’m so proud of you” but without fail always “I love you.”

I Love You. And then I look them square in the eye and smile.

Things are a lot different now for gay kids than even 10 years ago, but I cannot help but wonder how many young men and women heard decidedly different words from their parents or grandparents as they left their homes, only to have those unkind words be the last words they ever heard from the people who loved and nurtured them their entire lives.

Until they found out they were gay.

Then they maybe didn’t love them any more, or didn’t know exactly what they felt for them. The only thing they knew for sure is they felt shame. And disappointment. And maybe wanted to love them, but didn’t know how or what it meant.

Nonetheless, the last words untold numbers of men and women heard from those who supposedly loved them unconditionally were something much different than “I love you.”

A couple of years ago, probably after one of my annoying heart attacks; I decided that the last words the kids I love would ever hear from me would be “I love you.”

I think that’s kind of a good legacy.

Today’s Gay Agenda: Never pass up an opportunity to tell someone you love them. And to those you really, really love; make it a habit to tell them each time you say good bye.

It may be the last words you will say to them.


3 thoughts on “The Golden Rule”

  1. That is such a good habit to get into. Last week I was leaving the house for work (I work an overnight shift) and I gave my boys a hug and told them that I’d “see them tomorrow and that I loved them.” My wife texted me later and told me our oldest thought I gave him a look like I was dissapointed in him. For the record I wasn’t, I was just really tired as I had gotten insufficient rest that day and was going to work tired. I sent my wife a message to let him know that. However, just that knowing that my son had gone to bed thinking I was unhappy with him broke my heart. I made sure to stay up the next morning to see him before he went to school to tell him myself that I had just been tired and that I was always proud of him. Both our sons are good kids who we ensure get plenty of praise and we try not to be too hard on them even when we are displeased with their actions. Instead talking to them about their errors and how to improve upon them.

    It is important to ensure those close to us are left on good terms with a positive message. My dad passed away and while I’m happy to say there wasn’t anything left unsaid I wish I could have said and done more with him.

    Keep up the articles and don’t let the unpleasant words of your detractors sway your writings. They tend to be heartfelt and true to who you are. That is an important way to communicate even when people don’t agree. Honesty is a virtue even when others disagree with your view. The day personal integrity, even if people disagree with the view, is no longer respected is a sad day indeed.

  2. Coming from your heart and experiences that have showed you life won’t go on forever here-and just how important it is to tell those ones we love, that we are proud of them and love them unconditionally. Thank you from writing this!

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