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    2010 - 10.30

    There’s a reason for all the gay stereotypes out there—most of them are true. For example:

    • Self-absorbed party animals: true
    • Bossy & vain: mostly true
    • Often white trash: mostly true
    • Clothes horses: kind of true
    • Gossipy: kind of true
    • Really great at creating Halloween Costumes: sometimes true.

    I’m one of the unfortunate ones who falls into the sometimes true category in regard to Halloween costumes. I can make a stunning centerpiece out of a rusty tuna can, dryer lint and some gum, but cannot create a show-stopping Halloween Costume to save my life.

    The last really great costume I had was one year of the summer Olympics. I purchased two bikinis off the clearance rack and a very furry friend and I went to a party as “The Soviet Women’s Synchronized Swim Team.” I thought it was a hit, but we only won a prize for ‘worst-suck-@ss’ costume.

    It’s gone down hill from there.

    Tonight the Halloween parties will abound.  We’ll start trick-or-treating for cocktails at about 7. Maybe by the third house, the martinis and creativity will kick in.

    Today’s Gay Agenda: Make sure everyone knows you only trick-or-treat for cocktails at down-town condo living friend’s houses that you can walk to. Nothing sobers you up like ending up in a jail cell in a bikini.

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